Friday, July 6, 2012

A week late

But glad to announce Kel is ONE YEAR ALL CLEAR!!

'Nuff said.

With love,

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Quick update

I just too a look after 3+ months and realized I hadn't posted anything since Kel's 7 month checkup was pending, so I thought I would add news:

He has just (2.5 weeks ago) cleared his 10-month post-surgery all clear and is currently in his final week with the Tucson Police Department before saying goodbye to Arizona and moving to MS to be with David and I.  I am sad to see him leave such AMAZING friends and co-workers who were out of this world supportive and caring during Kel's illness and beyond.  I feel guilty about moving so far and having to have him leave that great family, but I also cannot wait (after almost 9 months) to have him here with us.  It has actually been 3 months since David and I have seen Kel and cannot wait.

In cancer news he is now at 2 month checkups rather than monthly, and all is holding steady and looking good.  The next one will be the big 1-year all clear, after which the chances of recurrence drop immensely (actually statistically for the salvage surgery he had the peak risk was 8-9 months, and he is past that too), so we will breath so much better soon.  The worry never goes, but reaching a year is a huge milestone.

That is it for tonight ... to follow my old sux/doesn't suck prescription:
I suck for having to have Kel leave TPD just to be with David and I.
Being past at least the first hurdle of recurrence risk does NOT suck, for sure!

With love,

Monday, January 30, 2012

2 years today

When they were here over the holidays, I was telling Kel and my father than anything that happened beyond the last 4 years feels like a different life - just over 4 years ago we adopted David, 4 months later came mom's diagnosis, 21 months of time with her until she passed, then Tahoe's cancer diagnosis and passing, then Kel's cancer diagnosing and fighting. Anything beyond that? Too far back to remember.

But back to today, we have again arrived at the anniversary of my mother's death from endometrial cancer ... almost down to the hour this time. Jan 30, 2010 somewhere around 7:30pm PCT, Dena David took her last pained breath, her suffering ceased, and we lost a loving wife, mother, and dear friend.

2 years already, really? And at the same time, I feel like that is a lifetime ago. How can 2 years simultaneously feel like forever and yesterday all at once?

No insight today, no shining memoir, nothing but a hard, sad day with just me and David tonight (and he is too bright and bubbly for me to make him sad with my sadness, so kept on a happy face with him). But time does make the pain less, and brings forward more memories of good times than hard ones.

I love you everyday, mom, and miss you just as often.


p.s. Kel's CT scan for his 7 month post-surgery followup was today, not sure if that was a good omen or not. Then a black cat ran in front of my car on the drive home ... not liking the omens. But I just keep trying to tell myself whatever will be, will be, and whatever fight we have to take one, we will take on. Que sera, sera