Sunday, January 9, 2011

A forgotten day

We went to sleep so early last night that I forgot to write. Sorry especially to Grammy Bizeau who I know waits to read these daily.

Chemo starts tomorrow, and although the worst of the pain is over for now (from surgery), the miserable times are just about to start. This is an especially rough regimen of chemo drugs, and we don't know how Kel will do. We are hoping for the best, but expecting the worst (are you gonna drop the bomb or not ... to quote 'Forever Yong' by Alphaville), and only time will tell. Tomorrow shouldn't be too bad, but ask me by Saturday.

Thankfully, we have wonderful friends who will have some great playdates with David this weekend on Saturday and Sunday so that Kel can be miserable in solitude. Now if only Saja had friends too - that is one crazy pup. I wonder if doggy daycares have Saturday hours?

With the recent tragedy and atrocity in Tucson, our (Kel's) miseries seem so routine. Just goes to show you how everyone's lives can change in an instant from either random lamentable cancer (thanks for the new word, Jon), or crazy, stupid people who open fire in a crowd of people killing 6, including a 9-year old child, and seriously altering the lives of 14 more.

Some parts of life just suck; some we can deal with, like Kel's cancer, and some are unfathomable. The depths to which people will go to hurt another sux, and the lack of being able to identify or stop such people can leave us feeling helpless.

I know yesterday's shootings have really upset Kel, especially when he is charged with public safety and knows not how to avoid such terrible acts. Not that all places other than Tucson are better, because crazies are everywhere, but Tucson does seem to be a magnet for terrible events since we moved here: Officer Eric Hite a few years ago, and this event stand out in my mind the most. Kel deals with the worst parts of town everyday on the southside of the city: drugs, gangs, homocides, rapes and domestic violence. He tries to make a difference everyday - keep the streets more safe and protect the innocent. But he can't do it all, and this, more than the cancer, is upsetting.

I wish I could make all of Kel's owies (mental and physical) go away the same I can for David: a kiss from mommy and maybe a little ice. Restore his faith in the good of people, and take away his pain.

But for now, all I can say is some things in life suck, and to dwell on the suck forever won't change anything. So grab hold of the good, of the love, and of the hope ... and to steal a phrase from an email from my cousin Barbara today: F#& the suck word, f*@k the cancer.

All my love, and hope,


  1. I love how you worked in the Alphaville song in there.

    Glad to hear that the pain from surgery has subsided, but as you said there is uncertainty on how Kel with be affected by the upcoming chemo.

    Just wanted to let you guys know that you are in our thoughts every day, and let us know if there is anything we can do from Omaha to help you guys!!!